fragilex mom blog

I feel like I have been cossumed by a huge black hole. I hate when i get all pscho babble with myself. I Analyze myself and just get more depressed. I feel so full of remorse or maybe its just self pity. I`m really not sure. Damaged goods unworthy of being loved, unable to love myself. Lol I really should work on that. Maybe 20 more years of therapy. I think it is impossible to change a lifetime of thoughs. Of course I don`t feel suicidal but if by chance I were to lose everything like those poor hurricane victims I wouldn`t hesitate to kill myself. If i lost my family and home I`d just check myself out to that big howard johnsons in the clouds.